Thursday, September 22, 2022
How do you choose life partner?
There are so many things in your life that are directly affecting your life with Marriage.
If you are not married then mostly in an Indian setting you will be taunted with this question the most - "When are you getting married?" or "Why are you not married yet?" even to the extent - "IS everything okey with you? Why aren't you married yet?"
Our societal pressure may not understand the depth and importance of marriage in true sense, yet it is a delicate and important aspect of our lives. It will determine our family, peace of mind, and harmony at home.
But what do people look at when they choose a life partner.
Research shows that 70% or even more looks and personality are the primary determinants.
For many though status and financial situations also determine their decision.
There are other aspects searched, character, dressing habits (especially for girls) and lifestyle choices like smoking, drinking and being a vegetarian or non-vegetarian.
In all this, no one tries to explore the depth of the other person. How the person is, what is their thought process, do they share some basic ideology, what do they want from life...!
But in their defence, at least in Indian arrange marriage scenario, you are not given enough time to see all these things. As a result, you end up with people hardly knowing anything about them. Its a far greater gamble than one can imagine. After-all your life depends upon it.
I know one of my extended family members who chose his life partner because his parents thought that it was a right match for him. some match up online or through an app- talk and message each other for sometime and then marry, seen some friends who after dating for a very brief time tied the knot. And I for one married someone I had not even met properly. - Results could vary for everyone, but crux of the matter is that none of us know anything about the other one.
Then how to choose?
May be you could ask some important question, but what if they lie to your face?
You might never find a proper answer for this.
To know a person needs time, and time should be well invested in each other.
Attraction matters and that should stay- in one form or other.
If you disagree quite often within a week, may be its a red signal.
If you bond on many things not all, this definitely a good sign.
See if the other person can adjust to your aspirations, dreams and values.
The inner feeling is always true. If you feel at ease from within you with someone, you might not go wrong in your choice.
Mutual respect is a must, because that is what is going to hold the marriage together in the long run
If you are not longing for each other, then you are sure not set for a happy afterwards.
Be involved n each others lives, but not in a creepy way.
Be part of the other ones friends and family and involve them in your's too.
A failed marriage made me realize that a marriage has to be built with a person who wants to build one with you. May be these points would help you.
Its a beautiful bond and worth all your efforts.
Thursday, September 8, 2022
Newly Married
Newly Married life is part life of human
The first five years can be exhilarating as couples experience new “firsts” together – their first Christmas as a married couple, first dinner party for the in-laws, even their first joint tax return. At the same time, the early years require some radical personal adjustment, which is stressful on the relationship.
Most divorces occur during the first five years of marriage (Kreider, 2005), with the highest incidence of divorce coming in year three (Kurdek, 1999). Why?
Sometimes it’s a poor choice of spouse. Couples who entered enthusiastically – but blindly – into marriage soon see their spouse’s shadow side when there’s no longer a need to keep up a good front. They realize that they married a person who doesn’t share the remote, likes to chatter in the morning, or, much worse, doesn’t share their values. They assume that marriage won’t change that and they divorce quickly.
Others fall prey to the stresses of early marriage. Some of these stresses might be age-related. Young couples may not have developed the emotional maturity, coping and communication skills, or financial savvy to navigate the many decisions thrust upon them early in their marriage. Hanging in there and learning the art of negotiating can resolve many of these issues, but it takes maturity and patience.
Wednesday, September 7, 2022
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How do you choose life partner?
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Newly Married life is part life of human The first five years can be exhilarating as couples experience new “firsts” together – their fir...